Problems within a marriage that result in irreconcilable differences often lead to divorce. The causes of such difficulties are varied and many. Often, however, they can be narrowed down to a handful of primary causes.
At the top of the list of causes is a lack of commitment. If one spouse is dedicated to making the marriage work and the other is not, the marriage will not last. A person who is married but feels no commitment to the relationship is likely to be unfaithful. Full commitment to the marriage relationship requires that both husband and wife dedicate themselves to doing whatever it takes to keep their relationship healthy and strong. This includes staying focused on each other’s happiness and well-being. Dedicated spouses bypass opportunities that are likely to affect the health of their marriage.
Poor communications and problem-solving skills are next on the list. Spouses who become emotionally unavailable by withdrawing from conversations or other interactions whenever a disagreement springs up make conflict resolution impossible. Those who become volatile create fear instead of trust. Erroneous thinking often is behind unproductive discussion techniques. Commonly, one spouse believes there must be a right side and a wrong side to any issue. The idea of reaching a decision that is fully acceptable to both participants is unfamiliar ground, and neither spouse knows how to get there.
When stress is combined with ineffective coping strategies, it becomes another primary cause of divorce. Common stressors within a marriage include financial problems, prolonged illnesses and unrealistic expectations. If an individual does not manage stress well and instead lets it build up, it eventually explodes. When it does, the person most loved by that individual often is the one who suffers the effects of the outburst.
Sometimes, stressed individuals drink alcohol, use drugs or engage in other addictive behaviors. Because these behaviors cause changes in the way individuals relate to their spouses, their marriage relationships may experience damage beyond repair.